Are you currently in a long-distance relationship? or reluctantly going into one because of the pandemic? I’m a firm believer that there is no such thing as having only one recipe for success. What works for one couple might not work for another. Despite being in a long-distance relationship, I don’t want to just give you my own personal tips. I’ve surveyed friends who have gone through successful long-distance relationships, as well as friends who are currently navigating them.
I wanted to compile all of the best pieces of advice so that you know that you’re not the only one in the long distance boat.
So what’s the million dollar question when it comes to long distance relationships?
“What are you doing to make your long-distance relationship work?”
The responses I got are golden! In no particular order, here are some tips to make your long-distance relationship a success:
1. Have an End Goal for your relationship
Before I jumped into a long distance relationship, my now-boyfriend and I had a serious conversation about our future together, and what it would look like if we stayed together.
With every difficult journey, it’s good to know what you’re working toward. Your end goal might be marriage, or maybe it’s your partner moving to the same city as you within a year or two. Whatever it might be, it’s good to have something to look forward to.
2. Trust your partner
I’m not gonna sugar coat this for you – but if you don’t trust each other it just won’t work. Period.
Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. It’s different to have your partner with you practically every day. But when they’re somewhere else entirely and you can’t confirm who they hang out with or what they’re doing, trust will play a big factor.
Ask yourself this – do you trust that your partner will stay loyal to you?
Your love and trust will get tested on a whole other level once physical distance is added to your relationship.
Talk it out, and make sure you know what you want or need to say beforehand. Open communication is key.
3. Communication is key
Communication is so important doing long distance – because it’s pretty much all you have.
With long-distance relationships, you need to take active steps to involve your partner and make them a part of your life.
“Don’t get lazy. It sucks making time for a phone call, but they’re important. So make the effort even when it feels easier not to.”
Sarah
The small things make a difference! A good morning text first thing every day is a great reminder that the person is still top of mind, and it’s a way to greet each other.
“We always text regardless of whether the other is awake or not, leave tons of messages to each other so you know what’s going on in your other half’s life. And once a week we will do Skype. :)”
Yuko
Say good morning and goodnight everyday if possible. Schedule time to talk so that you both know when to expect a call and so you have something to look forward to. With a whole day passing by without them anywhere near us, it’s important to FEEL near them.
This can be done through
– Facetime
– Facebook Chats
– Skype
– Zoom
– or just a regular phone call
“Long distance relationships are challenging, but if you make it a priority in your life it can be amazing and fulfilling” – Aaron
“When we rely on someone to be our rock, life partner, and significant other, we rely on them regardless of distance. Plan out your days and agree on times to call each other. I typically do this right in the morning before getting to work, or at night before falling asleep” – Aaron
Scheduling time to be spent separately as well as scheduling time together is key.
4. Include each other in your day-to-day life
“It has made it easier to joke about things that have happened in either of our lives or work through feelings or situations with each other as they come up rather than saving it for later. It has helped me feel like I am still a priority to him and him to me, despite a 15 hour time difference and a whole lot of distance. I don’t feel that he won’t understand something because he “wasn’t there”, and I don’t feel uneasy about bringing things up because we have prioritize each other. It has forced us to work through a lot of thing,s and grow together throughout long distance rather than just leaving it till we see each other.”
Caitlin
5. Plan to meet up as often as you can
If you need to drive 11 hours to see each other, that’s a sacrifice that you’ll need to take. If it means flying across the country a few times a year, that’s something you’ll have to figure out.
It’s important to see each other and be together in person. Long distance relationships can take up a lot of your time and money, but it’s all worth it at the end of the day.
6. Virtual date nights
“Something I’ve absolutely LOVED that we have done religiously is weekly dates. We make them just as important as an in person date would be, and its honestly so fun. When we do dates we don’t let anything else distract us and focus on just hanging out ”
Caitlin
My friend Caitlin and her boyfriend Nathan are on opposite sides of the world. Before Nathan went away, he got them both a cookbook so they could create meals “together”. They video call and make thee recipes together before sitting down “together” to enjoy their meal.
There are so many date night ideas that you can do with a long-distance relationship.
- Cooking together
- Doing a Netflix Party to watch your fave show together
7. Break the routine
Do something unexpected for your partner!
“Have Uber Eats delivered to them. Get their roommate/friend to pick up flowers or snacks to let them know you’re thinking about them. Send a card with a Polaroid in it. Have an Amazon gift shipped to their house, and don’t wait for special occasions to do it.”
– Sarah
In conclusion, to continuously build a healthy and strong long-distance relationship here are the key points.
1. Have an End Goal for your relationship
2. Trust your partner
3. Communication is key
4. Include each other in your day-to-day life
5. Plan to meet up as often as you can
6. Virtual date nights
7. Break the routine
Long-distance relationships can get monotonous, so don’t be afraid to shake it up once in a while. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion!
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